Why I Left the Church (But Not My Faith)

Jan 1

My church, like so many others, started feeling less like a house of worship and more like a corporation. Unfortunately I've come across more & more people who have this same experience & its really sad. My goal in sharing some of what happened is not only to shine a light on what to look for but to empathize if you have had similar experiences. I was led to this specific scripture to pray before sharing this blog post.

“All a person’s ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs motives.”.[a]- Proverbs 16:2

I believe God has given this scripture to show that He is weighing the true motives behind my heart when sharing this. There is comfort in knowing God gives attention to our heart posture.

For a long time, I loved being part of a church community. It was where I worshipped, grew spiritually, and built friendships. But over time, I began noticing something that didn’t sit right. The change was subtle at first: sleek branding, and constant calls for bigger buildings or better equipment. I believe the heart behind these decisions were pure. This church at the time was rapidly growing & they wanted to be able to have the capacity to welcome all! But eventually, I realized that the heart of what I cherished—authentic relationships with God and others—was being drowned out by a business mindset. Again, I believe this is unintentional but unfortunately is what is happening. Jesus is asking for my spiritual devotion; the church is asking for devotion to what needs to get “done” first. See the issue at hand? It had been almost a full 3 years where I was clocked in for every service, hangout, etc. What I once knew as a community became a job I showed up for. It felt wrong & I was sick of it. No accountability for me or the Pastors above me. Just do do do. Very few prioritized rest (sabbath) or heart checks. (If you're reading this and still attend that church, I want you to know I do appreciate the investment this church made in developing my skill set. I was under some of the most gifted, intentional, loving worship pastors for a few seasons at a time. Unfortunately they had their own reasons for leaving. Ultimately I walked away with better work performance & to this day know “i was just another set of hands - a number for their staff.” I still get messages today from non-staff members who miss seeing me around & wonder why I left.

This blog post is me telling the truth. In no way shape or form is my goal to talk down imperfect people. It's to shine a light on what goes on behind closed doors at a megachurch. People can & do get lost in this model of church. It took me a good 6 years to realize what was going on. I didn't know anything else.

Faith vs. Functionality

Churches should operate efficiently—there’s no denying that. Budgets, schedules, and leadership structures are important. God has gifted people in the body of Christ to serve in this way. I am one of them. But when efficiency becomes the priority over ministering to hearts and meeting needs, something is off. Jesus flipped tables in the temple for a reason, calling out those who turned sacred spaces into marketplaces. So i did what Jesus did, without flipping tables. I got angry. I spoke up. Unfortunately my comments & concerns towards these convictions were shut down by the “executive team” yes that's what they still call themselves. If I spoke to someone who had the same conviction as I did about this church, they didn't have the authority or space to change it.

I started to see the focus for most wasn’t on shepherding people but on keeping the “brand” alive. The sermons began to feel tailored to self improvement, scattered, & repetitive. Decisions seemed to favor what was profitable, not what was spiritual.

What I Left Behind (and What I Kept)

Walking away from that church was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. It felt like losing a family. Many tears were shed in this process. But I couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that staying would compromise my faith, not strengthen it. I left the building, but I didn’t leave the Body of Christ.

I still believe in gathering with other believers and being part of a spiritual community. As someone who claims to be a follower of Jesus - you must be a part of a church. This doesn't just mean watching online or attending on Sundays. God's Word is extremely clear on what being a part of the local church looks like. It is not an option to not attend/not have genuine community. Click the link here to learn more.

The Church is so much bigger than any single organization, denomination, or building. It’s the people of God living out their faith authentically. I've seen this in individuals whom I have personal relationships with - some from my old church, and lots from my new one.

Finding Restoration Outside the Institution

Leaving doesn’t mean abandoning. For me, it meant returning to the basics: spending time in prayer with God, reading His Word, and seeking relationships with other believers who weren’t bound by a business model. I’ve learned to let go of resentment..it's a choice i make daily, pray for the church I left, and seek healing.

Thankfully, that journey led me to a new church—one that prioritizes worship over performance, discipleship over attendance, and relationships over revenue. It’s far from perfect (no church is), but it’s a community where authenticity thrives and Jesus is truly at the center.

If you’re wrestling with the same questions & headspace, let me encourage you: God is bigger than any institution. Sometimes stepping outside of your church building - away from tradition “church culture” shines a light you didn't know was missing. And for me this was the first step toward finding Him again!

Calista Moncada Rivers